Whilst I consider myself a very loquacious quixotic * sometimes the clutter in life gets in the way of being positive and having fun; and tends to make my usually sunny disposition a bit more cloudy than usual.
I was mentally grumbling in my head when I arrived at work this evening, a combination of little things that peaked when someone had left a chocolate milkshake in the fridge in the lunch room and it went everywhere. Including all into my lunch bag and all over my Pulled Pork Goulash leftovers, might I add that I lovingly slow cooked for about 10 hours the other day. As I type these words, I am mortified.
Where was my head? My sense of mindfulness and of others? I was literally (not quite crying) over spilt milk. There are so many people around us that are going through major personal journeys- death, illnesses, financial trouble, family problems, domestic violence..or worse. And here I am whinging over my leftover dinner. That I cooked in my house, that I bought, in my kitchen, that is fully stocked with food and wine. From holidays! I am safe, I am warm, and I healthy and I am loved. And I was (up until this epiphany) bothered by a bit of pork. **
Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about, and sword that helps us fight that battle is a little compassion. Whether it is a friend, a partner, a stranger offering a few words or even telling another motorist when the coast is clear…all these little things help us out! I have been trying lately to focus on noticing and offering them more and more and it is amazing how a few clouds in your mood can soon be turned into a rainbow, by making some one’s day or by them making yours!
Don’t get me wrong. I am not having an existentialist crisis. I know who I am, where I have come from and who I would like to be someday and I am unbelievably lucky to have been blessed with the family, friends and opportunities that I have. It’s just sometimes things get a bit much and my sensitivity kicks into overdrive. I am attempting to be honest and remind everyone (and myself!) that we all have less than perfect days when we feel like we can’t help those we love in the way that they need most. But that is still no reason to cry over a pulled pork and ice chocolate milkshake hybrid.
Instagram is a major culprit in creating pseudo realities. My profile is generally pretty happy and bright- because I usually am. That’s not to say that I don’t edit the photos that I post, choose the one with the best lighting and make sure that I look half decent in, too. I am only human! Also I take heaps more than what is necessary, in order to get the best shot. I think that came from my layovers. I told you old habits die hard! I am all for personal branding, however…
It’s not all puppies and coffee dates! Sometimes you conquer the world and solve all of its problems before 8am. Sometimes you might feel like getting lost in a book and a glass of wine or 7. I am somewhere in between right now and just trying not to get swept up in the current of emotions. Mine, and everyone else’s too. There are so many things that I have already achieved yet there are so much more I strive to even consider.
To remedy this I am (trying to) exercise lots (when I am not being nocturnal and living at the Airport) drinking less coffee (at night) and remembering to mindfully breathe (thanks to my clever apple watch!) I think these, mixed with my “online personal therapy” (this blog) is doing the trick!
Thank you all for reading, and I hope that some of you share my train of thought here!
All aboard the honest express 😉
* “Loquacious” means tending to talk a great deal; talkative. “quixotic” means extremely idealistic; unrealistic and impractical *starry eyed*
** Food is important to me, as is pork after Dubai but that is beside the point here!